Monday’s word was unworthy.
Today’s is done.
I’m done fostering my desires, at least for the moment. I’m through with allowing myself to admire passionately the man with whom I desired a friendship. I am finished hoping that our futures could possibly commingle in a Christ-honoring, God-glorifying way.
Now I go about the work of getting free from all this . . .
. . . of trying to forget about him . . .
. . . of trying to accept how alone and lonely I am . . .
. . . of trying to figure out what the lessons were God wanted to teach me through this whole ordeal . . .
. . . of trying to move past my anger with God for allowing me to feel so strongly about someone who obviously couldn’t care less about me . . .
. . . of trying to determine why it’s been my lot in life to fall for men who are completely unavailable to me emotionally and otherwise . . .
. . . of trying to recognize that if I want human connection, it will be online (or, if in person, on superficial and noncommittal levels).