My friend over at a queer of sorts recently gave ten recommendations for maintaining intimate friendship from a distance and gave me permission to share them here. This is sage wisdom for those of us whose closest friends may not live in geographic proximity to us.
- Pray for each other often.
- Schedule regular videochats or phone calls. Actually schedule them for an agreed-upon interval. Get them on your calendars and violate the standing appointment only for truly legitimate reasons.
- Frequently send memes and jokes to each other. Send small gifts or cards. Send texts like “Thinking of you! Hope you’re having a great day!”
- Text regularly or keep a Snapstreak if that’s your jam. Send good morning and good night messages every day. Share with each other your daily “roses/thorns” where you list the positive things from your day and the negative things from your day.
- Tell and ask each other the inane things you do—what you ate, who you ate with, what the weather is like, random details that you have no other way of knowing. Joke around, make each other laugh, and have silly conversations!
- But also be vulnerable with each other and don’t waste time. Because you don’t get to talk as often as you would with someone who you “do life with” on a daily basis, sometimes you can cut straight to any deep stuff that’s on your heart!
- Find mutual digital activities things like video games or using rabb.it.
- Do cool new (simple, weird, wild, innocuous) things to tell your friend about and challenge him to do the same. Tell each other about how much it sucked or how awesome it was!
- Let yourself cry/be sad/miss each other. Not getting hugs or not being in someone’s presence for a long period of time is difficult. And while the internet has blessed us so much, it can only do so much to make up for the physical absence of someone. It is okay to feel sad.
- Don’t lose hope. You will reunite again and, when you do, it will be marvelous!
I hope you enjoyed these suggestions. What would you add to the list? Comment below!
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